Hey Travel Family,
While we were waiting for dinner to finish cooking in the oven last night, Matt caught me staring off into the distance, deep in thought. Curious about what was distracting me, he asked what I was thinking about. So, I told him, “I’m thinking about how it feels impossible to do and be everything.”
You see, there are so many things we, as ‘grown-ups,’ are supposed to do. The list is never ending but some of those things include career obligations like going to work to do a good job, building relationships with co-workers and clients and trying to advance your career so you’re moving forward. Then there are health related things like eating well, exercising regularly and taking care of your mental health. Of course, let’s not forget all the home stuff like keeping your house clean, doing yard work, cooking dinner, doing your laundry and all that. Then there’s the family and friends stuff, like being there for the people you love when they need you.
There are so many more but, you get the idea; there are a lot of things we’re supposed to do to be good, functioning adults. Recently, I’ve been trying to step up my health focus. I’ve been meditating, doing breathing exercises, eating better and exercising regularly. There are a lot of mental and physical health issues in my family and we’ve lost too many people too young. There’s a lot I want to do in my life and I want to make sure my physical and mental health are where they need to be to allow me to do that.
But, as I said to Matt last night, sometimes it can feel impossible to do and be everything. A better way to explain it is that it feels like you’re trying to hold onto a big armful of apples. Sometimes you can add an extra apple or two on top, balancing them perfectly. But, other times, when you add another apple on top, more fall out the bottom or sides. Worse still, there are times you manage to stuff all your apples into your arms but, with such a heavy load, it’s only a matter of time until you tire and end up dropping them all.
As I’ve been focusing more on my health recently, some of the things I do for my business have fallen by the wayside. Initially, there’s a sense of guilt, a feeling like, “Why can’t I just do everything? Why can’t I do everything I need to do for my personal life and my business and stay on top of my health too. There are 24 hours in a day, surely that’s not too much to ask?!” But, it doesn’t really work like that. You can only hold as many apples as your arms will allow and there’s no way to make your arms bigger.
I’m still figuring it out but I think the answer lies in what I just said, that you can only hold as many apples as your arms will allow. While I was sharing all of this with Matt last night he said, “What can you give over to me?” and maybe that’s part of the solution. If there’s no reasonable way to be and do everything, maybe you simply don’t have to do and be everything. Maybe, it’s about asking for help, sharing the things you’re struggling with and lightening your load so you can carry your apples safely and securely, without burning out in the process.
For me, I think that means taking some time to figure out where I need help the most. As much as I’d like to, I can’t outsource the work that needs to be done on my mental and physical health. If only someone could work out for me while I get all the benefits, that’d be great! I also can’t outsource the work that goes into client relationships, planning our YouTube videos and presenting them – I love doing those jobs and it’s such a big part of what Little Grey Box has become and where it’s going.
At the moment, I think it’s here, on the website, that I need help the most. With so much focus on our videos at the moment, demand from clients for them and our genuine passion and love for them, I’ve not had as much time and love to give to website content. Maybe it’s about finding contributors, bringing on a writer or two or some other solution, I’m not quite sure. But, I know it’s not healthy to feel guilty for not having the time and energy to do everything and I also know I love the website and don’t want to see it neglected. Rather than beat myself up about it or cause burnout, I’m going to try to find someone else who has the space to help hold this particular apple.
Asking for help can be scary and, sometimes, feel like a failure. But, I assure you, it’s not. As much as social media would like us to believe everyone else in the world has got their shit together and are on top of all their adult responsibilities, things are never really that simple. The truth is, you never really know what’s going on and our perceptions of other people’s lives shouldn’t make us feel bad about our own. I know I’ve had moments where I’ve seen other people and thought, “How does she do it? How does she manage to do it all?” The answer could simply be, “She doesn’t.”
One way or another, everyone needs help of some kind and there’s strength in realising that, asking for it and accepting it. I’m not sure how that’s going to work for me just yet, but I’m very happy Matt got me to talk about it last night and I can start figuring it out because, goodness knows, my arms are full.
I hope you have a wonderful time over the Easter break. Be sure to watch our most recent YouTube video, below, all about our time in Southern Queensland Country.
I’ll talk to you again next Friday.
Love, Phoebe xx