Hey Travel Family,
Last weekend was Matt and my fifth wedding anniversary so when I sat down on Friday to write TW I started writing about that and before I knew it, it had taken on a life of its own and become a whole personal post about marriage. If you missed it and want to read it, you can find it here.
So, we woke up on Saturday morning and did what the vast majority of couples do on a weekend – clean the house! haha, I tell ya, it’s the real couple goals! Both Matt and I are neat freaks and love cleaning the house, it’s actually one of the things we bonded over on one of our first dates. We were both talking about cleaning and the things about messy flatmates that drive us insane and I think we had a moment where we were like, ‘soulmates’ haha! So we started cleaning the house at 10am and ended up cleaning pretty much all day. It was one of those much-needed Spring cleans where you go through your pantry and throw out that lentil curry you’re never going to make or that tin of fruit that’s been there since the early 90’s.
We got so deep into it, we even cleaned out the ‘shit drawer,’ you know, that drawer where you throw all the crap you don’t know where to put/can’t be bothered to deal with. It was amazing and very cathartic to clear out all the crap around the house. We finally stopped late in the afternoon, ordered pizzas and spent the night watching movies. It was a very ‘us’ way to spend a wedding anniversary, which I really like. I’ve always found big, public expressions of love and over-the-top romantic stuff awkward and forced, so a big day of cleaning followed by pizzas and movies is right in the pocket for me.
Despite all the love for the personal post I shared on Friday and a great day on Saturday, I started to feel a bit down on Sunday. Sometimes my mind runs away thinking about our business and I get frustrated by all the things I want to achieve but haven’t yet. We’ve come so far but we still have so much left that I want to do and, at times, it gets me down. It’s my anxious mind saying, “Hey, you! Why haven’t you done all these things yet? What’s wrong with you? If you haven’t achieved more it’s because you suck. Do more. Do it now!”
I’ve talked to you a bit about it being a big year for me in my personal life, especially after the loss of a loved one in December last year. I guess we’re at October and with the end of 2018 within sight it’s all catching up with me and I’m just tired. I’ve been going hard-out all year and I’m starting to run on empty. So, I took Sunday, Monday and Tuesday to put my phone down, stay away from my computer, emails and social media and just switch off from everything. It’s nice to disconnect from the electronic world for a while and focus on the present.
I think sometimes we get so caught up in the world online that we lose that connection with what’s going on around us. It sounds silly but you can get so swept up, you don’t even realise you’re tired and in need of some rest or me-time. It’s like we get into our routine and just keep going and going and going not even aware we’re burning out. At least, that’s what happens to me.
I spent the three days off doing some of the things I’ve been meaning to do but perpetually putting off. I took down the curtains in our room that had started to fray and re-hemmed and washed them. I finally re-potted all my succulents which have been mummified in the driest potting mix of all-time. I re-organised the linen cupboard and threw out all the old towels we never actually use. I cut fresh clippings and leaves from my favourite plants to propagate. I tried out a new recipe I’ve been meaning to get to and did a huge cleanout of the laundry. All those little things help me clear my mind out too, they’re so soothing.
Most importantly though, I spent a lot of time journaling. Way back in 2013 when I was in my office job and struggling to find my path in life and my happiness I started seeing a life coach. She put me onto the idea of journaling and it’s something I find really helps me, even now. It makes a lot of sense because, really, these TW posts and my personal posts are a form of journaling for me too – they just contain the kinda stuff I don’t mind you guys reading.
But the journals I keep on my laptop are different. I’d love to hand write them but I can’t write as fast as my mind is moving and I worry about someone snooping about my room and finding/reading them. Not Matt, of course, but I have sisters so… well, you know! I also find a lot of comfort in the fact you can password protect a word document on your laptop. I know, 100%, nobody in my family is going to be able to crack into them which gives me that total peace of mind to write whatever the heck I want. I can write all that weird stuff I would never say aloud to anybody and even the things I don’t often allow myself to even think.
If you don’t journal but struggle with things sometimes, I highly recommend starting. It has helped me, time and time again, to work out just what my problem is. It helps me to put things into perspective, work through them with total security and privacy and just get it out of my head. It’s even more cleansing than re-organising the linen cupboard which, honestly, I didn’t think was possible haha!
After a big few days of resting, recharging and working through my shit, I realised it has been a long time since I saw my intuitive life coach. I’ve definitely been feeling like I’m ready for some more insight and guidance and she’s the perfect person to help me with it. So, I booked a session with her in November (the soonest I could get in – omg!) and I’m really, really looking forward to it. I can’t wait for her to see how far I’ve come since 2013 and get a fresh butt-kicking and some more guidance and direction from her. Of course, I’ll share it all with you guys – her sessions are amazing and I feel like everyone can take something away from it.
Actually, I should probably mention that too – that I was totally and completely messed up in 2013, you guys! My whole life was a hot mess and I just couldn’t figure it out on my own. Seeing a life coach really helped me with that. So, again, if you’ve ever felt that way, you don’t have to deal with that kind of stuff alone. I’m intensely private so it wasn’t an option for me to open up to my friends, family or even Matt for help figuring it out. Having an independent person I could confide in was exactly what I needed and she really helped me deal with my shit, get honest with myself and gave me actual, usable tools I could use to get where I wanted to be. So if you need guidance too but a psychologist or therapist isn’t quite right, you may just find a life coach is what you need. Just make sure you find one you ‘click’ with.
The fresh perspective from my few days off made me feel like I wanted to get back to writing a little more purely. I often write content with travellers in mind – I want them to have these really detailed guides they can use to have an amazing holiday. But, writing really means something to me and it’s important I get what I need out of it too. So, I decided to write a travel story about our visit to Soweto. I slowed down, took the whole day to work on it, re-write it and bring it together. My mind was full of doubt because I kept thinking, “This is never going to perform well long-term, it’s not going to help anyone, they’re never going to search for it on google and if nobody will see it then what’s the point?” But, the point is I loved doing it and that makes it worthwhile. If you want to read it, you can do that here
I hope you guys had a good week! It’s raining here in Brisbane today and should be all weekend, which I secretly enjoy. It’s good for my garden and is the perfect excuse to indulge all my introvert instincts by staying indoors wrapped up in blankets drinking hot chocolate and watching movies. Oh, and our Safari vlog episode is going up on the YouTube channel tonight so if you’re interested in seeing what we got up to, make sure you watch it. I’m legitimately crying tears of joy at one point haha so silly!
Have a great weekend and I’ll talk to you next Friday.
Love, Phoebe xx