Valentine’s Day can pucker up and kiss my rear. That’s right, I said it. It’s a totally made-up thing aimed at draining your hard-earned money out of your bank account just so you can fit in on 14th February and live up to some strange societal expectation to show your love. It makes no sense. If you’re anti-Valentine’s like me, you’re probably doing some pre-eye-roll warm-ups and getting ready to feel annoyed by the whole damn thing. To help you survive appropriately and have an enjoyable, sensible 14th February, here are my top 10 tips on how to have a great anti-Valentine’s Day.
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1. Donate to a charity
Rather than spending hundreds of dollars on roses, chocolates, gifts, and a ridiculously priced dinner donate money to a charity instead. Don’t buy into the bullshit big brands are trying to sell us! You don’t need to spend your money on gifts to show someone you love them. Instead, tell them you love them every single day and take the money you would’ve wasted on superficial crap and donate it to giving young girls in underprivileged countries access to education! Those girls need your money more than any big business does. You can donate to Care and contribute your hard-earned dollars to bettering the life of a young girl in serious need.
2. Watch horror movies
If I have to watch an ensemble cast movie like, oh, I don’t know, Valentine’s Day, I’m going to scream. Instead, host your very own slasher movie marathon or watch some really twisted horror flicks. Heck, I’ve really gotten into watching those psychological thrillers from the 90s, you know, the Ashley Judd peak period. Beer is essential. Popcorn is 100% necessary and you can even make out later if you like.
3. Love yourself
Alright, I’ll admit, that title sounds really lame, but it’s not. Hear me out. Spend some time on February 14th taking really good care of yourself. You can do it with your sweetie, don’t worry, you just don’t need to leave the house and spend $200 on dinner. Instead, crack open a bottle of wine and talk about all the things you’re thankful for. Split a pizza (or two) and share your hopes and dreams for the future. Take some time out to meditate, go to a yoga class, do something creative, start reading that book you’ve been putting off or just sleep in until 10am! Love yourself and… Treat Yo Self!
4. Let it go
If you hate Valentine’s Day because someone broke your heart or you’re single, then use it as the day you let all of that crap go. Shred photos of your ex, write them a letter and pour your heart out then put it in a saucepan and set it on fire (safely). Kick, scream, cry, shout, purge and then let it all go. Snip the mental cord and set all of your sadness, worries, fears, doubts, reservations, hatred, shame and misery free. You’re in control of your life and your feelings, so let it all go and just be happy.
5. Feast like a beast
When I eat, I want to eat properly, not put on some weird, performative food show. The best way to give Valentine’s Day the big up-yours is to activate beast mode and feast like your life depends on it. We’re talking real, magnificently un-sexy foods: super sticky chicken wings and glazed ribs, big greasy slices of pizza and huge bowls of spaghetti covered in red sauce. Get stuck into a massive burger or a totally overstuffed hot dog. You’ll know you’ve chosen correctly because it’ll be the kind of food that gets all over your face. Perfect.
6. Start a health kick
Invest your hard-earned money in your own health and well-being! Get some acupuncture done or organise some sessions with a personal trainer or a nutritionist to help you get started with food and exercise plans. Invest in new workout gear, a gym or yoga membership. Spend your money on a juicer or blender to make healthy treats. Do up a new 30-day health plan for yourself and make 14th February day one!
7. Have a vacation
All the money that could have been wasted on flowers, chocolates, dinner and gifts could be spent on a night or two away instead. If you can’t get away on the 14th, make it the weekend before or after. Book yourself into a nice hotel, grab an Airbnb or go camping — whatever works for your budget. Use that money to create a trip worth remembering and bring some actual adventure and relaxation into your life.
8. Give someone a goat
If you absolutely must give someone a gift, make it a live animal! Head to Oxfam Unwrapped and you can buy a duck, a goat or a cow for a family in need. The kind of gift that actually matters
9. Help out your Grandma
There are a million things my grandma needs help with, and most of the time I put them off. That said, I have become the unofficial dog groomer to her rag-tag bunch of poodles. Rather than wasting your time at a stupid restaurant watching lovesick couples suck face across the table while you try to keep your entree down, go visit your Grandma. She’d love to have a cup of tea with you, I’m sure, so take her some cake, some flowers and offer to help out with whatever she needs done around the house.
10. Date your dog
Your dog spends every day of the year loving you unconditionally. If you have cats, they spend every day of the year tolerating your existence and watching you scoop their poop. Take your dog on a date; goodness knows it deserves it! Take your dog shopping at the RSPCA Store, take her out for a few hours at her favourite dog park or the beach. Give her a really good grooming session, the full head-to-toe treatment, and buy her a bag of treats. If anyone deserves your love, time and money on Valentine’s Day, it’s your dog. If you have a cat, you’re welcome to try and date it, but I don’t think it’s going to go well for you.
Frequently asked questions
What is anti-Valentine’s Day?
Anti-Valentine’s Day is simply the practice of opting out of the commercial side of 14th February and choosing to spend the day in a way that feels more genuine. It doesn’t mean you don’t value the people in your life. It means you don’t need a Hallmark holiday to prove it.
Is it okay to not celebrate Valentine’s Day?
Absolutely. There’s no obligation to participate, and plenty of people find the whole thing stressful, expensive or just a bit hollow. Doing something you actually enjoy on 14th February is a perfectly reasonable choice.
What are some good alternatives to Valentine’s Day?
Donating to a cause you care about, booking a short trip away, cooking a proper meal at home, or spending the day doing something good for your health are all solid options. The best alternative is whatever feels more meaningful to you than a bunch of overpriced red roses.
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Hotels, I use Agoda
Insurance: Cover-More
Rentals: Discover Cars
RVs: Motorhome Republic
Transfers: Welcome Pickups
Travel eSIM: Saily
Author: Matthew Turk
Matt is a Brisbane-based adventurer and content creator passionate about travel, growth, fitness and creativity. Matt loves crafting vibrant content that inspires and entertains.
