As a child I quiet often heard the phrase ‘If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all’. Being a little kid, it didn’t really mean that much to me and I just thought it meant you shouldn’t say mean things. While that’s true, it’s only recently I learned the true power of this little phrase.
You see, it all starts and ends with you. There have been times in my life where I have been miserable and that miserable energy has really stemmed from within myself. Looking around I would see all the bad things that were happening to me and focus on them. As another old saying goes ‘Misery loves company’ and when you’re down in the dumps, it’s easy to want to say and do things to make yourself feel comfortable in your misery, like seeing the negative in other people and other situations.
When it comes to power, there’s nothing stronger and more influential than your mind and you probably underestimate the impact your thoughts and feelings have on the people around you. Letting a negative vibe come out, even just a small one in the form of something you say or do, will sit with you and cloak you. Worse still, it will attract more negative vibes.
Negative energy can start with you. Think of yourself as a little incubator, if you see something or someone and express negativity, that energy has just come out of you and is now sitting all around you. It’s easy to think that people won’t take any notice of it, but the truth is they will because it will hang from you like a thick cloud and continue to incubate and grow.
The hard part about this is the effect it will have on you. Allowing that negativity to come out of you makes it real and it makes it tangible in a way. It will sit heavy in you and become habit, next thing you know you’re a big old ball of negativity and you’re standing in your kitchen wearing pyjamas at midday, sobbing into your cake thinking ‘Why me?’ The more you focus on the negative and allow it to come out of you, the more negative you will see in the world. Sound like fun? I didn’t think so.
But here’s the great thing, negative energy can end with you too. It’s up to you what vibes you emote and what you decide to put out into the world. As far as old sayings go, ‘You reap what you sow’ is another of my favourites. So it stands to reason, if you put positivity out there, you’ll reap positivity too.
Small changes in your life can have a great impact, so start with something small and achievable: if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
Whether you’re talking to a friend, family member, co-worker or even a stranger in the street, stop yourself from saying anything negative. For example, don’t engage in idle office gossip about the new girl or talk about friends behind their backs. If you do have to talk about someone, stick to the facts and don’t allow it to have a negative connotation. In fact in some instances you may have to fake it ’til you make it. What this means is you may have to start by actively thinking of something positive to say, there’s nothing wrong with that, and if you can’t think of anything to say just bite your tongue.
It’s a small, easy change that anyone can make and the change you will notice in yourself is huge. Fostering a positive attitude by engaging in conversations that focus on good, rather than bad, will start to build this light within you. It may be small at first, but it will grow. Before you know it, seeing the upshot of something will be second nature to you and you’ll be sporting a great new outlook on life.
You’ll be able to see the silver lining in any situation and find the upshot when things look bleak. It’s easy to sit around and wonder why you don’t have things or haven’t been given opportunities that other people may have been given. Stop, look around you and take note of all the great things you do have in your life. If you can’t be grateful for the wonderful things you have now, how will you ever be grateful for things you’re wishing for?
Seeing the best in those around you will help you see the best in yourself too. It’s important to stop and take stock of the good parts of yourself and the great things each of your friends and family bring to your life. Yes, they can be annoying and make you want to tear your hair out but each of them brings something great to your life and that’s what you need to focus on.
I’m going to go out on a limb here to prove my point and say that by the time you’ve gotten to read this sentence, you’re already feeling a buzz of inspiration and excitement. That buzz, that little tingle and joy that you’re feeling, that’s positivity starting to fill you up and all you’ve done is read this post. Imagine the change when you employ this in your own life!
Take the energy you feel right now, plant it within yourself and watch it grow. It will change your life. You can be that person with the positive glow about them that people love to meet and talk to, because it all starts and ends with you.
There is nothing to be gained from saying bad things about people or putting people down. Nobody likes to be spoken about badly or talk to someone who does nothing but brings down their mood, so cut that out of your life because you don’t need it either.
Fill yourself up with light and love and watch as things around you change, watch as your disposition changes and you start to find the joy in more parts of your life. Go forth and be positive! Oh and keep me posted on how you go, too. Just remember, nothing is more attractive than a big old smile.