It’s up to you
Image credit: designspiration.net
I don’t usually post mid-week, I like to save my thoughts and collate them on a Sunday evening because things happening throughout the week usually have a neat way of tying together. This week has been different, this theme has been popping up everywhere and it is impossible to ignore anymore.
There seem to be a lot of people in my life at the moment who are feeling conflicted. They are conflicted because they feel confused and trapped by what they feel in their heart and what is expected of them.
Since Matt and my relationship became serious (i.e. ‘legally binding contract of marriage’ level of seriousness) we have had a lot of expectation thrust on us. It doesn’t bother Matt so much because he has an amazing ability to ignore things whereas I used to let my feathers be ruffled more easily.
The expectation is because we are getting married this year we will start planning to have loads of babies soon. We will stay with our secure office jobs and continue on this path of corporate success. Of course the dream of traveling the world is now over seeing as we are office-bound baby makers living in the suburbs with our golden retriever and hybrid car (p.s I love hybrids and golden retrievers).
It isn’t a bad thing that the people in our lives want this for us; it is a social norm and an accepted benchmark for others to measure success against. It is the natural progression of most people’s lives and for our friends and families who just want to see us happy it easy to accept we truly are happy if we follow the set path.
But here’s the thing, that may not be our path and it may not be the path a lot of other people in the world either.
I watched a video today on The Little Sage website, Helen was speaking about how to know if you’re on the right path. The simple answer was ‘it will just feel right if you’re following your heart’. There was one other thing that really struck me from the video, she said “There are 7 billion people in this world. That means 7 billion paths”.
Your path is unique. My path is unique. What Helen didn’t say was “There are 7 billion people in this word all doing the exact same thing. Huzzah!”
Half the time I just want to walk around the city with a megaphone yelling, “You can do whatever you want with your life! Be free earthlings” but then I would be considered crazy and probably locked up, which I suspect is not my path either, and there would be Matt’s awkward first visit to the Psych ward where the inevitable conversation of ‘how did this come about?’ would need to occur. But I’m getting off topic here.
Image credit: designspiration.net
You will remember the introduction of my good friend Positive Claire in my post ‘the not-so-zen master’. Yesterday I received a text message from Positive Claire saying she had cut her hair and felt amazing. It is something she had wanted to do for a long time but never did because she was scared. Now she had done it, all she could think was “I wish I did it earlier.”
If you are on the wrong path right now, chances are you know it. Maybe it’s a feeling deep in your belly or a whisper of a thought which only comes out when you’re laying in bed at night trying to go to sleep. Maybe it is screaming out at you and you are trying to ignore it or maybe you don’t even know you’re on the wrong path.
There are so many reasons we come up with in order to put off happiness. My very good friend Jo sent me an email on Tuesday which contained a blog article about happiness. The writer spoke of how they wanted to start their life but there had always been an obstacle in the way, something they were waiting for before the happiness could begin.
Here’s the thing the writer realised and it is the same thing I realised earlier this week; happiness can start right now and it is already happening right now. Each day you put it off is another day you’ve missed out on.
Image credit: designspiration.net
I’ve always looked forward to the next big thing in my life and sometimes I blame a materialistic society and a materialistic me for it. There are so many times in my life where I thought getting the next thing or getting to the next stage would make me happy.
I had been so busy wishing away the time just to get to the next thing hoping it would make me happy when it turns out I have everything I need to make me happy right now. By acknowledging this and identifying the things in my life which truly make me happy and eliminating things which don’t, I’m following my heart and I know I’m on my right path because it feels easy, it feels right and I’m pretty much always happy (winning!).
Looking from the outside in I could see how people don’t understand my path, it’s a little unconventional. Matt and I aren’t planning a family, we’re planning an adventure. We aren’t planning to buy a house, we’re planning to see the world. Neither of us is planning our career, we’re planning our dream job.
Image credit: designspiration.net
The opportunities are endless for you if you open your heart. Another part of The Little Sage video I watched today spoke to this point, something which has been going through my mind lately and something I was discussing with a colleague. The mind is limited by social norms, fear and what is considered right and wrong but our hearts are unlimited and full of potential.
You don’t need to be bound by anything. There are no wrong decisions if you make a decision from your heart and are honest with yourself. You may even find yourself in the same position as Positive Claire wondering “Why didn’t I do this sooner?”
Image credit: designspiration.net
You don’t have to make a choice about which path you are going to follow; you just have to not let anything be an obstacle to you and start following your path. It really is that simple, just follow your heart along your life path and you will be happy because it is exactly what you want to do with your life.
Since this new way of thinking entered my life I have already experienced people putting me down, challenging my ideas and trying to stop me following my heart into writing by insisting it is not a sustainable career for me. I don’t know why but when it happens it makes me smile and all I can think is “You just don’t know yet”, they just don’t know how good it feels when you know you’re doing exactly what you should be doing.
I don’t proclaim to have all the answers or know everything, but I do know how I feel since I started appreciating what I already have and living my truth; I feel amazing. Don’t let other people, fear or social ideas get in your head, don’t let anything stop you or hold you back, just follow your heart.
Phoebe
littlegreybox.
25 Comments on “It’s up to you”
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littlegreybox is a meeting point of humorous perspective, food and travel experiences and my life journey. It's my outlet, a source of inspiration and a way to share and connect with people around the world.
Love this post Phoebs!! Here is one of my very favourite quotes which is along the same lines:
“No one longs for what he or she already has, and yet the accumulated insight of those wise about the spiritual life suggests that the reason so many of us cannot see the red X that marks the spot is because we are standing on it. The treasure we seek requires no lengthy expedition, no expensive equipment, no superior aptitude or special company. All we lack is the willingness to imagine that we already have everything we need. The only thing missing is our consent to be where we are.” Barbara Brown Taylor.
Ing xx
I love that quote Ing! It’s exactly what’s been going through my head this week and what I was trying to get across. One of my new favourites :)
I just found your blog and this post was really interesting. This is something that’s been going through my mind lately as well. And I’ve also found that people are trying to “put me down” when I tell them about my dreams and goals. What really pissed me off was when I told someone that all I really want is to be happy, and that I will be happy if I do X. The response I got was that my dream was “just an illusion” and that I have to be “realistic”. I think you’re right about the fact that they don’t know how it feels. And that actually makes me feel a bit sorry for them.
Your dream isn’t an illusion or unrealistic, that person is just scared because they’re thinking about it with your head. You know it can happen. Big difference. I’m glad you read the post, it’s great to have someone else confirm what you’re thinking! Keep going with it Linda :) you can’t go wrong if you back yourself. – Phoebe
Sorry type-o *they are thinking about it with their head
Loving your post – great message:) I am really trying to live from the inside out this year. I hate the word “someday” and live for TODAY – Grab It & Go . . . Have a Great One!
Oh I love that! Life from the inside out. I’m going to have to borrow that one :)
Just remember that “FAMILIES” appears to include all “FAMILY MEMBERS” and I am sure that you know that you have a “FAMILY” that does not feel the way you have outlined :) may all your dreams come true PHOEBE we love you with all our hearts, no judgement, no complaints, no issues, JUST LIVE YOUR LIFE that is all we want.
I know I have a supportive family and no matter what I do they (you) will be happy for me as long as I am happy :) not everyone is so lucky. I hope you didn’t think I was saying otherwise ma. Love you! X
I feel exactly the same way. I know what change I need, and it is unconventional so I know it will be frowned upon by family, extended family and some friends as they worry I’m not taking control of my life.
But to the contrary I am taking control of my life by sailing on this adventure. And you are too.
Let’s set sail!
“My path is unique.” Such a great reminder. I thought when my husband and I sold everything and quit our jobs and moved to Europe that everyone would freak out about us “going rogue”. Everything fell into place though and we’ve been allowed to be unique, although, now the “rule” is that we’re not to have babies while we’re in Europe – just another unique path to discover.
I feel like I needed to read this right now. I am struggling with a tough decision, and part of my struggle is what people will think when I know it shouldn’t matter what people think because I need to do what is right for me. Thank you.
I’m really glad you found this post, Cheryl. Listen to your heart and trust yourself :) good luck
I really enjoyed this post. It was very thought provoking. I needed this. I also wish you lots of luck in the future. Thanks.
I think one of the signs a person is on the right path, their path, is when others think they are crazy. Its true. You hear a call that no one else can hear and you follow it to find your dreams, but as no one else hears it, they just see what you leave behind and think you are nuts. My husband and I are off on our own crazy adventure right now, and we feel alive! Best of luck with your path.
Reblogged this on pinkcupcake2000's Blog and commented:
It is life…
This is lovely… I really like your blog!
Awesome read! Loved it!
I am a believer in following your heart. I think it’s very important to do things that we feel is right for us because at the end of the day, it’s us who will go through the consequences of these choices and decisions.
Exactly, I couldn’t have said it better. Thanks for reading :)
This is great! It’s a beautiful thing when people realize that happiness is within ourselves. Anytime I was having a bad day or feeling upset my dad would always say “Candace, you’re letting yourself be upset about it. Move on.” He was so right, and so are you! We all need to cut out the cancers in our lives and live free happy lives according to ourselves and our paths that we create.
I completely agree, your Dad had some wise words there. Thanks for reading :)
All so true! Even the cutting hair part of it! I did that too, and it was a spur of a moment decision, and all of my friends told me no. But I did it. And I didn’t regret a single bit of it. -nerdwithtaste.wordpress.com
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Hi Phoebe, love you articles, there are truly inspiring. I often feel the same way as you, and you put the words on those feelings so well. Thank you :)
Anya
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