Toilet terror
The humble toilet was invented in 1596 by Sir John Harrington and since then there has been some 400 years that the human race has had to come to grips with the correct way to use it.
Yet despite this inordinate amount of time, I am regularly confronted with the foul misuse of one of the most simple and necessary inventions known to us.
I don’t know anybody who gets excited at the prospect of using a public toilet. The very thought of one conjures up images of broken doors, discarded (and probably used) toilet paper, abandoned tampon wrappers and worst of all…. unflushed toilets.
This raises the question, who leaves them in this state? It certainly isn’t me or anybody else that I know. So, if everyone else is walking around horrified at the idea of using one, why doesn’t everyone observe the common courtesy of leaving it neat and tidy? Who are these phantom mess makers?
Even the humble and unsuspecting work toilet can become a mine field of potential life-threatening, nightmare-inducing hazards. What’s bad about this situation is that you know the offenders are somewhere in the vacinty… maybe even right beside you…. Maybe even right now….. AHHH! Where’s my hand sanitizer?
I cannot count the number of times I have unsuspectingly walked into the work toilet only to be accosted by a discarded feminine hygiene product or an unflushed turd. Seriously ladies? Is it that difficult?
At my previous job my colleagues and I started to compare notes about the bathroom comings and goings of staff on another level. Without fail these staff members would each enter the toilet, do their business, then walk straight back out without so much as glancing at the hand washing basin…. The worst part is, they were all being trained as waiters at a very posh restaurant.
These sort of events usually lead to laminated signs appearing in the bathroom. You know the ones, declaring that everyone should leave the bathroom tidy once they’re done or ensure they flush the toilet after use. These are usually crafted by angry employees, I suspect that they think the passive aggressive approach is going to work… but if you ask me, 400 years of the toilet being ingrained in our society hasn’t worked, I highly doubt your flimsy little sign is going to make a shred of difference.
One of my personal favourite toilet signs is the ‘correct hand washing procedure’ that appeared in the ladies toilets at my work… what on earth did somebody see in that toilet that prompted the google search, print and laminate of this little number? Did somebody get things around the wrong way and urinate in the sink then wash their hands in the toilet? I really hope not.
It is beyond comprehension that any woman could miss the bowl, and yet it happens. I understand the concern regarding germs in a public bathroom and the necessary act of ‘hovering’ in certain situations. But in a very posh office building, it probably isn’t needed… and if you can’t aim straight… please don’t try.
So let’s all make a concerted effort here to band together and use the toilet the right way. I may even start a vigilante group whose main job is to pop over the cubicle wall and conduct a spot inspection to determine whether or not you are using the facilities correctly or not “Hey Lady! Get your feet off there!”. You’ve all been warned!
littlegreybox.
17 Comments on “Toilet terror”
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littlegreybox is a meeting point of humorous perspective, food and travel experiences and my life journey. It's my outlet, a source of inspiration and a way to share and connect with people around the world.
Fantastic piece, so well written! Sadly though, in this case anyway, the expression it´s only funny because it´s true springs to mind!
Why does this story above does sound so familiair? I can’t even get myself to describe the horros I walked into. But believed me, when someone is able to spay his urine on top of the urinal…. it might just be time for action?
I’m with you on this one, LGB, but I always thought female loos were all sweetness and light, fragrant and shiny. The idea of a lavatory bowl displaying an unflushed lady log fills me with horror.
hahahahaha lady log! I hate to shatter the vision you had of a female bathroom, unfortunately it’s a very dangerous place. NOt quite the sugar-plums and fairy dust you were imagining.
I couldn’t agree more!
why oh why…I can’t find the answers as well. We demand for toilet space and provision and when it’s there., we don’t use it. This is one case that I don’t want anyone cleaning up my own mess…
Three boys, I live with 3 boys. I have given up on my dream of no wet spots on the floor or seat, or of the toilet roll miraculously appearing on the holder. I can however recommend the best thing’s to clean the toilet with – that’s what ya get with 3 boys!
Oh man this is funny. I have definitely seen those signs in my own office, and the passive aggressive thing is not so much effective as it is just plain annoying. Also, I think the only time you’d see someone peeing in the sink and washing their hands in the toilet would be at a drunken fraternity party bathroom stall. Or, one would hope.
Very good. Don’t even get me started… But the funniest sign I saw was one time when I desperately had to use the restroom at a Sonic. They are usually at the back of the drive-in, as this one was. It was very small, and inside was a sign that stated that employees were forbidden to leave the restroom without washing their hands. The problem? The lavatory was OUTSIDE the restroom door.
hahahaha fantastic!
Oh my, you have hit the nail on the head! I share your feelings; just call me the bathroom nazi (I think inspections should be random and often, LOL). And shouldn’t everyone have to pass inspection under the black light for hand cleanliness before leaving the facilities?
Definitely! If you can’t drive a car drunk, you shouldn’t be able to leave a toilet without washing your hands thoroughly. Surely someone should start doing Random Hand Testing?
Reblogged this on Whatever, Whenever, Wherever .
Hello, I am also using the same theme, but in the home page, the magazine style is there, but the images are not showing for each posts.. HELP please..!!
Hi there! I think you mean the featured image? When you choose your image for the post you need to “set as featured image” option. I hope this helps!
I loved this so much! The wrong way to wash your hands…hilarious!
I too have wondered who these people are? Were they not potty trained? Do they do this kind of shit (ha, incidental pun) at home? It does always confuse me as to why some people clearly find it so difficult to use the toilet correctly! Great post!
The next hurdle to overcome is when you go on a team building event and realize all of the toilets are squat and there are no doors on the stalls. It is a whole other level of knowing your coworkers! Great post.