Choose wisely
What are you doing right now? I don’t mean sitting around in your underwear reading this post, I mean what are you doing right now in your life? You might be living in the suburbs with your family, sitting in a café in Paris, staring absently at your work computer screen in a halogen lit office or unpacking your bags, happy to be home from a long holiday.
No matter what it is you’re doing, I hope it’s what you really want.
So often my friends will see photos of my travel and say, “Wow, you’re so lucky”. Truth is, it has absolutely nothing to do with luck. It was my decision to save, leave my job and travel and I made the whole thing happen, well… Matt & I made it happen.
It is so easy to fall into routine and fall victim to pressure. Your parents warn you about peer pressure, they tell you that it’s going to happen to you at high school and at some point you’ll feel pressured to have an underage drink or try a cigarette.
What they don’t tell you is that it continues to happen throughout the rest of your life.
Growing up I had it in my head that the ‘right’ path was to finish high school, go to University, meet a guy and get married, move to the suburbs and start a family. That isn’t an ideology that came from my family. My Mum and Dad have always been supporters of my love of travel and making my own choices.
This ideology comes from the world around us, but just because it is a social norm it doesn’t mean that it’s right for everyone.
Matt and I are moving back to Australia and we both know that when we get home we’ll be asked when we’re going to start a family. Even though we’re engaged and slowly getting a wedding plan together, that isn’t something that’s in our immediate future at all, simply because we’re not ready yet.
That doesn’t mean that it’s right or wrong, in fact I don’t believe that there is a right or wrong when it comes to choices about your own life. It’s the path that we’re choosing for our life together, so how can it possibly be wrong?
It takes a lot of strength to break away from what other people expect from you. When I was travelling a few years ago I met a girl who was a kindred spirit, a ‘soul mate’ as I like to call her.
At the time she was in a long-term relationship and had bought a house with her boyfriend, but her heart didn’t fit into the puzzle the same way all the other little pieces did. It was easy to sign the paperwork for the house and it was easy to lead that life, but it was extremely hard for her to admit that she wasn’t happy and do something about it.
Fast forward a few years later and she has travelled around the world and is currently living about as far away from her family as possible, working as a bungee instructor and she has never been happier. Why? Because she was honest with herself, went through some hard times and made the best decision for her life.
When you get comfortable and in a routine it can be easy to watch time tick by and it can be easy to start following the milestones that society sets for us. But just because they are there, doesn’t mean that they are right for you.
Call me crazy, but having the freedom of travel recently has given me a lot of perspective and inspiration. If you’re not happy with where you are right now, then change it. Do something about it.
I’m not saying it’s easy and I’m not saying you need to do something drastic, but start enriching your life with the little things that you really want and need or start planning toward the big things that you really crave.
Before we began travelling a friend of mine told me that he thought I was doing the wrong thing by travelling. He expressed that he was concerned Matt & I were making a mistake and that we should settle down, marry and think about having children. I’ll always appreciate the advice my friends give me, but it’s important to respect those who make a different choice for their life.
My point is that there is no right and wrong answer when it comes to your life and your happiness. My best friend is very happily married with two children and she wouldn’t change it for the world and I wouldn’t ask her too, because that’s what makes her happy. The friend I mentioned earlier is probably going to travel forever or until she meets a man who can keep up with her amazing life and that’s perfect too.
No matter what choice you make, be sure that it’s the right one for you. Don’t be afraid to challenge the ideals or do something different, it’s your life and your choice.
littlegreybox.
35 Comments on “Choose wisely”
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littlegreybox is a meeting point of humorous perspective, food and travel experiences and my life journey. It's my outlet, a source of inspiration and a way to share and connect with people around the world.
Even with thousands of miles between us you still answer my unspoken questions.
You are lucky to be travelling the world, but only because you took that calculated risk and are reeping all the rewards as you deserve. Travel is a dream, and to live that dream is damn amazing. Im right there with you that if its what you want to do, you need to find a way to do it.
Exactly my point……….Your Life is Yours….Others can simply advice you….but in the end,it’s you who gets to chose.And yeah,do that…..Cuz You Only LiveOnce!!
Tis true a lot of us are people pleasers and spend too much time doing things to make other people happy when in fact, we’re making ourselves miserable in the process
thanks for reminding me my personal ideology of life. :)
Bravo for your post! Enjoy both your current travels and the as-yet-unimagined ones of the future. Just keep posting so we can be continue to be inspired. Been loving the Twitter pics, BTW.
So you’re the one person that views my twitter pics :) Thanks for reading Rosie!
Well said! It is absolutely true, we have to fulfill our own expectations not others’. And we have to make choices for ourselves every day, so every day we get the chance to change what we don’t like about us or our lives.
Thanks for the inspirational post!
Exactly!!!
Amazing post, shared on FB. You are totally on the nail with this one, and it’s totally what we tell callers at the distress centre as well as too many find themselves in crisis over what others, including society, dictate their lives should be. thank you soooo much for sharing this, you’re an incredible writer. And you have helped me become braver too, in choosing what is right for me, not what is right in the eyes of everyone else. :D Hugsss
Pink.
I’m so glad you can relate to me so much on this one! It sounds like you’ve had a lot of experience one way or another :) thanks for reading Pink, you know I appreciate it! Phoebe x
You are so right about this not being easy. In this world traditionally attaches us to people, things, jobs or ideas…it’s not eas to make that choice to be happy and to do what we really want but the good news is, as you’ve pointed out, it’s very possible. And you’re living proof! Thanks!
Living free nourishes the soul.. :-)
Completely agree!!
Reblogged this on danlenaiet's Blog and commented:
You only live once.. so why box yourself? The only way that we can find our own happiness is by knowing what we want and pursuing it.. “don’t do what other people say.. just listen.. you have only 1 life so why let others rule? ” – Warren Buffet.
Thanks for the reblog :) love that quote!
good post and for the majority of people this is good advice not for me though, i was lucky in that i traveled and lived my choices early in my life because now i have children and one of them is severely disabled, my life now is about giving my children what is best for them and especially my son, and has none of my choices for me in it, but i do appreciate this post and i do think most people really ought to follow exactly what you say, just not me :) i really hope you carry on living your life as you wish it to be and that you are happy through it all i really hope you have a wonderful time xx
What you wrote really touched me, thanks for sharing. I really appreciate it. I know it wasn’t a choice for you, which shows the power of unconditional love mothers have for their children. That love is stronger than any choice you could make about the situation, and it’s amazing :)
I absolutely agree with anything you said above. It’s definately something we should all consider. A question we shoud all ask ourselves. Am I happy with my current and life? If not, what would make me happy? Personally, I struggle with this question myself. It’s not like I am unhappy or anything, but am I completely happy? I guess not. The thing is, I am not quite sure what the right step for me would be at this current time. Oh well, ten days Barcelona might help me find it I guess.
Definitely! Take some time to chill out in Barcelona, might help you work it out. You don’t need to put extra pressure on yourself though, you’re already aware of it, the answers will come to you! Enjoy Barcelona, let me know how it is :) P
Haha, will be posting all about it on my blog. If I have the discipline and time to keep up. Hehe
That’s right. Peer pressure does not end in high school. In almost every stage of life, there is one – and it just keeps increasing. Perhaps the pressure will wane down if you’re too old to even do your daily activities (wherein it can still be a pressure too).
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I agree with you traveling does make you reassess things, and it’s nothing to do with luck, it’s making your own chances in life and having the courage to do that (although it has to be said some people are born more privileged than others and with greater life choices). I love the line about the heart and the puzzle, such a sweet image.
It really does open your mind, while your away from all those real world distractions and problems. So true! If I was born into a family of billionaires I’d have different choices to make, but I may not be as grateful. Who knows!? I’m poor and happy hahaha :) thanks for reading!!
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Wonderful stuff, and advice. I just don’t know what I want. I have just finished a degree in English and Philosophy, but I am moved back home and working in the same retail job I had before I left. I don’t like it. I have a boyfriend I love and he has a good job here. I want to write, or at least get out of retail. I know I have to do something, but it’s the what…
Oh gosh yes, I can relate to that situation so well. Sometimes these decisions have a way of working themselves out too. As in, you hit a point where you can no longer deal with it and get so frustrated you just instantly know what you want. But don’t put too much pressure on yourself either hey, you don’t want to make a decision based on pressure, just your heart :)
Great post – At a crossroads, deciding whether to be honest with myself or ride on the wave of what is expected of me. Thank you for reaffirming the thoughts in my head.
Sounds like you made the right choice for you :) let me know how it goes! I support you!!
I couldn’t agree more.
I live in Poland, and we have had some changes during these past few years. I’m only 19 but my parents raised me “the old way”, telling me that I can be whoever I want to be. But right now kids don’t have this choice. Now parents decide if they want they kids to be a doctor, lawyer or a journalist and they send them to primary school which will prepare them for this certain job. But why no one waits for this kid to grow up and make his/hers own decison?
PS. Sorry for my not exactly perfect English ;)
That’s a great point, I hadn’t thought of it that way but it’s true. Luckily there are still some sane parents out there like yours and mine!
Your English is great haha don’t worry :)
Crikey – I’m not the kind of person who likes to travel, but your words of wisdom fit so well in many areas of life. Very thought-provoking. Many thanks.
Glad you enjoyed the read :)
Thank you for sharing this because I feel as if I am in this type of situation as well. Family constantly questions us on marriage and children and “why all the traveling??”. I think that one (or a couple) should just continue following the path they choose rather than settle for the traditions.
Completely agree with you! You and your guy should keep doing whatever it is that is making you happy!