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Tube tunes

I always listen to my iPod on my commute to work, this helps make the tube ride go faster and I genuinely believe it makes my day better because it puts me in a good mood. 

Now when I say I listen to my iPod, what I really mean is that I do my best to hide my white headphones under layers of scarves while clutching the actual iPod very closely to my person as I fearfully skulk to the tube station

There are, of course, a few more problems that I encounter though.

The first, is that I am both obsessive and neurotic, so I can never just listen to an entire playlist from start to finish. Yes! I am that annoying person who changes the song they’re listening to every 30 seconds.

My second issue is that I loathe those people who listen to their music so loud that I can also hear it. I do not want to hear anybody else’s music. All I want to do is get to work as quickly and quietly as possible and without incident, before I change my mind, turn around and go home. 

Unfortunately those people (usually men with too much hair gel and big, unnecessary ear muff style headphones) who insist on pumping out their ministry of sound greatest-ear-busting-thump-anthems at a deafening volume are making my day… that little.. bit… harder.

Right, so you see my dilemma. I do want to listen to my music, but it’s hard to change the song every 30 seconds when you’re jammed into a tube carriage and I don’t want anyone to hear my music. So I gave up listening to music on my commute.

After going two weeks with no music, I decided to give it another shot. These last few weeks had been so dull, and I missed walking down Piccadilly, all dressed up for work while listening to my favourite songs, getting me ready for a working day.

So, one foggy morning, I wrapped my headphones under my scarf and down the inside of my coat and into the pocket that sits in line with my hip. I clicked the ‘play’ button and immediately started skipping through songs. My iPod playlist is embarrassing. Deeply embarrassing. There is anything on there from Ying Yang Twins and the Honey Soundtrack to Cody Simpson, Ja Rule and U2. Yes, I am cringing too. It’s not all bad though, I’m just too lazy to attend to the needs of my playlist and weed out the baddies. 

Finally I settle on a song that I am happy with and feel confident that, should anyone overhear it I will look cool and worldly and not like an annoying wannabe-raver. I set the volume to a perfectly acceptable tube-friendly level and set off for work. 

I make it to the underground station safely, with both my life and iPod still intact, and board the tube. Naturally I do not get a seat and am instead wedged between 15 strangers with someone’s arm pressed against my crotch and someone else’s crotch pressed against my butt. Lovely. 

And then it happens. Suddenly the cool, whimsical and worldly sounds on my iPod disappear and are replaced, instead, with Busta Rhymes and Mariah Carey. NOOOOOOOOOO! WHY is this even ON my iPod? 

Not only do I not want to listen to this myself, I certainly do NOT want the whole tube to hear it. What’s worse, because it is a downloaded copy and not an itunes original, the sound quality is horrible and inexplicably ear-splittingly loud. 

But my arms are pinned. I cannot move. I am flanked by a small Indian woman with 12 shopping bags pressing into my side and a very large older man. People are looking at me, heads are turning “Who IS that and WHAT are they listening to?” is the question going through everyone’s mind. 

It is me and I am far too white to get away with listening to Busta Rhymes rap about his indiscretions with Mariah Carey first thing on a Tuesday morning. The shame. I endure what feels like an eternity between Stockwell and Vauxhall before enough people get off and I can scramble for my pocket and quickly click the iPod off.

My lesson learned, I resign myself to reading the Metro… in silence.

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16 Comments on “Tube tunes

  1. Marcos Gonzales
    May 8, 2012

    Haha, I can relate to this story for the most part. I don’t go anywhere without my iPod. I just make sure to pick a safe playlist and keep it on no matter what happens. Your best chance of getting to work without incidents, but with music? Just make a playlist of 20 to 25 songs you adore any day. It will get you anywhere. Just don’t start humming to the music ;-)

  2. searchingtosee
    May 8, 2012

    Sp funny! Ah you got me feeling all nostalgic for that London commute!
    I can’t listen to music when traveling as I would become a dangerous human being. I have my head in the clouds as it is!

  3. Sonia
    May 8, 2012

    It’s nice to know I’m not the only one overly aware of how loud is what I’m playing to others. I have this need to pop my earphones into my iPhone, & turn my music on while my earphones dangle, so I can firstly make sure it is at a level no-one will hear before I squish them into my ears. But then if I’m really enjoying a song I will secretly turn up the volume & sink silently into the window seat just hoping I an get through it before anyone notices how loud it is. Lol

  4. diaryofanewife
    May 9, 2012

    Your post did make me smile! I too like listening to my ifone on trains and tube (and sympathize re the 15 strangers compressing you out of existence) but since I am a bit paranoic, I sometimes get bouts of acute panic that the headphones will suddenly come off and everyone could hear my music and then all would shudder and groan at the soundwaves of PINK, CREED or NICKELBACK!

  5. Xenoia
    May 9, 2012

    I feel your pain. Travelling by tube is something I hate having to do!

    What makes my day more than just a little harder is when they decide it’s ok to not bother with headphones at all. I am then forced into a small internal battle with myself over whether I should tell them to shut up or not. Usually weighing up the probability of getting stabbed for doing so.

    I have not yet been stabbed. So far, so good.

  6. rosie49
    May 11, 2012

    It is quite refreshing to read of a person who cares that the volume of their music may infringe on others in close quarters. And I like that you can laugh at yourself when the karmic joke is on you in this case. A delightful post!

  7. Grace Louise
    May 16, 2012

    The other week I could hear a girl on my tube not only listening to Mariah Carey, but ‘All I Want for Christmas Is You’ – Christmas songs in March?!?! It almost killed me. Worst start to the day ever.

  8. applepantry
    May 27, 2012

    Join the change the song after 30 seconds club…neurosis unite!!!

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This entry was posted on May 8, 2012 by in Laugh and tagged , , , , , , .

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littlegreybox is a meeting point of humorous perspective, food and travel experiences and my life journey. It's my outlet, a source of inspiration and a way to share and connect with people around the world.

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