Man vs … man?
As a species, humans have come a very long way. We are no longer crammed into a cave, sitting around a fire, eating berries (unless you’re a contestant on Survivor. I love that show).
It is official, we have moved on from our cave-dwelling, stick baring ways and yet for some reason, I feel like members of the male population have not received this memo.
Men feel this inner calling to challenge their minds, bodies and manhood through all manner of self-induced pain. For example, the rotund gentleman on Man vs Food.
Now I would be all out lying if I said I didn’t honestly enjoy watching him sit down to a 10 kilo taco stuffed with 7 kinds of meat or the world’s most searing hot chilli sauce smothered on a sushi roll and then watching in joy as he sweats, grunts and pants his way through digestion hell. That said, I do struggle to understand why he does it.
The only thing he receives is a mild heart arrhythmia and a 100% chance of getting high cholesterol and/or diabetes. In fact, I think I read somewhere that his high cholesterol may even get diabetes.
If this guy were the only man out there punishing his body for little to no reason then I probably wouldn’t bat an eyelid, but he isn’t. There is a various assortment of obstacle courses and endurance races out there designed to push your body to the absolute limits, beyond the usual self-harming activities such as marathons and triathlons.
One in particular, Tough Mudder, sees competitors crawl under barbed wire, swim through ice cold water, run through fire and finally, sprint through live electrical cables. Sounds like a fun day out right?
While I am all about ‘be all that you can be’ I am definitely not all about ‘be voluntarily electrocuted and burned’ despite the whole ‘don’t worry ma’am – the paramedics are on hand’ message they promote. Stuff the paramedics! If electricity were my friend I’d be able to shove a knife in the toaster.
My idea of an obstacle course would be rolling down a hill covered in baby duck feathers, then crawling through a pit of snuggly cats and swimming through a river of ribbons followed by a cool down in the chocolate ice cream baths.
Men, however, love this stuff, they eat it up and nobody more so than Matt who not only loves the movie ‘Into the Wild’ but also loves the soundtrack. Even the instrumentals. I wouldn’t be entirely shocked to find him in the backyard one day trying to make a fire out of two sticks and fighting the neighbours cat for ownership of the perimeter.
Last night he came home at 10:30pm looking less than average. Now, some women would be concerned about what their man had been up to but this is not a problem I have ever faced and it turns out that, rather than ogling women in a dingy club, he had been at a steak house stuffing 1kg of animal flesh in a sesame seed bun into himself and was consequently feeling like he’d eaten a brick.
I’m not even going to pretend to understand why men, or anyone for that matter, would do this to themselves. I have no desire to pit myself against the world either physically or mentally and as far as I’m concerned, if I can make it out of Primark or the Myer boxing day sales alive, I can do just about anything.
But to those of you out there who want to be stuffed, burned, electrocuted and half-drowned… enjoy yourself, I’ll be on the couch if you need me.
Littlegreybox.
13 Comments on “Man vs … man?”
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littlegreybox is a meeting point of humorous perspective, food and travel experiences and my life journey. It's my outlet, a source of inspiration and a way to share and connect with people around the world.
What about all the “extreme” workouts? I am attempting P#X (May not make 90)!
Is it for fitness, or just to “get the shirt”?
hmm sorry to be daft but… what is that!?? :)
An exercise routine meant to take 90 days: P90X :)
The only time I have ever voluntarily crawled under barbed wire, I was as child fleeing from a cow pasture. Holsteins are easier to piss off than you would think.
Not to be contrary, but women have “inner calling to challenge their minds, bodies and [wo]manhood through all manner of self-induced pain” as well. For example:
Pregnancy (birth hurts not to mention the post-partem effects)
High heels (I know made by men, but women still compulsively buy them)
Waxing (bikini wax, ouch)
Every challenge that women go through to do work “typically” associated with men -lawyer, doctor, scientist, ceo, etc. (while gender specific vocations are utter silliness, the idea to rebel against the status quo and change is, I think, fundamentally the same as a man eating 5 lbs of chorizo or making a fire out of twigs).
Perhaps its our nature that makes us (humanity) want to use our knowledge and skills to change things or at least understand intimately how they work…
Wow, very well put… I completely agree! Thanks for the different perspective :)
No problem! I’ve been reading a lot of articles that seem to denegrate men into adult boys, and while I don’t think that’s necessarily off-the-mark in a lot of cases, I feel that both sexes have similar flaws and drives (enacted in different ways). But, I could also be a naive man-child… haha
I also read your post on plagiarism. That is really unfortunate! It made me think about the concept of “bricolage” in a much less conceptual/theoretical way and in a practical “i did this work you can’t steal it” sort of way.
I agree. You make great points but that being said, we don’t have the choice when it comes to pregnancy. That is more than challenging ourselves or putting ourselves through self-induced pain, that is about species survival through reproduction. I wouldn’t call it self induced exactly and not pointless like seeing how many volts of electricity you can withstand.
Waxing and High heels are another story and you are spot on there!
Ha. I know what you mean. My boyfriend just finished Tough Mudder the other weekend and has already signed up for the next one! And each week he comes home with black eyes and a battered body from playing footy, I think he thinks it’s manly. I think he’s crazy. I’m definitely with you on the river made of ribbons and crawling through pits of snuggly kitties :)
Sounds like he loved it! Matt has signed up for it too and is recruiting all his friends in it. haha I love that your man comes home all battered and bruised from footy too. Luxury-loving-ladies of the world unite….
I really think we missed out on the memo.. rofl..
We can proudly say that we caused everything around us!
I wonder why women want to be equals with us? don’t you see how amazing we are at doing pointless things?
Good observation ;)
When some other guy starts being all masculine, I start singing “Eye Of The Tiger” to inspire them to greatness! They never seem to appreciate it.
I hate that program, i think it is symptomatic of everything that sucks about the developed world. How can someone a) want to and b) be admired for eating an obscene amount of food, when mothers are litterally craddling their children, helpless as they starve to death, in other parts of the world. Makes me sad.